Narcissism: a necessary evil?

Self absorbed, egotistical, power hungry, blind: all traits to describe narcissism. If you don't think you can still identify one, check out this helpful video on how to spot a narcissist!

For us, narcissism=bad, no second thought given. Let us consider this for a moment. 

Would you consider this man a narcissist?

How about this one?

Or this one?

Surely not him?

or him? (on second thought...)

Incidentally, in normal conversation we wouldn't consider these guys narcissist would we? surely not with the word carrying so much negativity!

What is common to all the people pictured above is that they have acquired and maintained high leadership positions (perhaps except for Romney, but who knows?) They are respected and have a high following. They are charismatic and good orators. But if they had been lacking in "self love, "a belief in themselves"and and high degree of self motivation, would they have made it? 

But is there such a thing called "healthy" narcissism? 

Michael Maccoby says that "narcissists, one of the three personality types identified by Sigmund Freud, have often emerged to lead and inspire people in the military, religious and political arenas. Business, too, has had its share of narcissistic leaders, especially at times, like the early 20th century, 'when business became the engine of social change...(and) men like Andrew Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller, Thomas Edison, and Henry Ford exploited new technologies and restructured American industry."  

There are incredible cons, and inevitable cons, he says. They bring great vision, the ability to see the big picture, and the drive and opportunity to change the rules of the game. They are successful in attracting followers, skilled in presentation, speaking, and charismatic. On the other hand, narcissistic leaders can be poor listeners, sensitive to criticism, lacking in empathy and relentless and ruthless in their pursuit of success. 

Researchers have qualified the term "adaptive narcissism" to describe people with a high degree of self-sufficience, and confidence. Those with adaptive narcissism, as compared to maladaptive narcissism, are better able to cope with anxiety, particularly in social contexts. They are successful in boosting their teams and classes. They help make sure that projects get done, contributing to the group effort, perhaps becoming a bit too assertive. Pathological narcissists, Yolanda Reid Chassiakos, says might exaggerate their efforts to invite praise and attention, but "healthy" narcissists would want to look good for himself/herself, and that modest confidence is contagiously attractive in both professional and personal spheres. 

Having said that, narcissism is definitely a double-edge sword. It is easy to get self-absorbed in achieving what they think is the correct path. Maccoby says, narcissists CAN become productive leaders: only if they work on themselves, recognising their potential shortcomings and traps of their own personality. He advises narcissists to find a trusted sidekick (think Steve Ballmer to Bill Gates, Michelle Obama to Barack Obama), indoctrinate the organisation with your own values, or own products, (basically align own interests with organisation, or vice versa) and finally to get into analysis (this includes self reflection, psychoanalysis, therapy which helps in understanding why they do what they do, becoming more self-reflective, open, likable and good humored) 

Narcissists tend to get promoted quickly, due to their charming character and their incredible commanding performances during crisis. However, once they get there, they have to perform. Leaders at the higher echelons of power, have to learn how to work together with people, listen to criticism and make the team motivated. If narcissistic traits could be identified early and blind ambition forgone, narcissistic "high achievers" can become quality leaders. Narcissists need to learn empathy, to work in teams, to align their own interests with the organisations. 

Therefore, a degree of narcissism isn't necessarily a bad thing. I mean, who could be more narcissist than politicians on a campaign trail? Does THIS sound familiar?

But perhaps narcissism to THIS extent is bad.  

Now that you know the pros and cons, will you take the test? 

For those brave souls go diagnose yourself HERE, or HERE

Vision, Mission, Persuasion and ?

During the fifth anniversary celebrations of Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy (LKYSPP), Mr. Lee Kuan Yew (the former Prime Minister of Singapore) was asked about how to select future leaders. He replied; 

"(A Leader) must have passion. He must have the instinct to do something for his fellow man. He must have the capacity to persuade them to follow him. 

I went to sheep farm in Australia...I asked, 'how do you choose and train your dogs?' The farmer responded: 'We take them as young pups and look at their eyes. is he has good strong eyes and the sheep will will be scared looking at the dog, then we train him. if he hasn't got stamina to go thick and thin with you throughout the day, don't waste your time. Train one who is trainable and has the capacity to be trained." 

Looking at Mr. Lee's answer, three things can be garnered; a leader is passionate, has a vision and the ability to persuade! Mr. Lee also hints that leadership is destined at birth rather than learned. 

In a TEDx talk, Simon Sinek talks about how great leaders inspire action through the "Golden Circle"; with the "why" at the core. He says, its the why that makes the difference between an inspiring leader and those who don't really take off. In other words, a leader knows why they do and say what they say; have a passion! 

Indeed, one of the fundamental differences between a leader and the rest is their ability to enchant people. the art of persuasion. Without that initial attraction, a leader is basically just a regular Joe. What makes a leader a leader are the followers. If we think about it, before Anton Drexler, the founder of the German Workers party, invited him to the party, Hitler was a basically a nobody. 

And if the leader is able to attract the masses, they better have a place for them to go; ie, a vision! Martin Luther King Jr had a "dream" of how American society would be more inclusive, where men and women of colour would enjoy the same liberties and rights that others did. Mahatma Gandhi has a vision of a free and independent India and achieving that through non-violence. 

Therefore, Mr. Lee's assertions about a leader are correct. However is it enough? 

In my opinion, having a vision, the ability to attract followers and a mission is just one part of the equation. The other part is the HOW? How would the vision be achieved? What would be the next steps? What are the key elements? 

This boils down to the old debate about managers versus leaders. Managers are often thought to be concerned about budgets, administration, the hiring and the firing, the organising and coordinating while leaders are thought to be the visionaries and the charismatic presence who gives direction and inspiration. 

While traditionally oriented views might make a distinction, to be an effective and a great leader, one must have the art of leadership as well as the art of management. Havard Business School Professor David Thomas highlights, “increasingly, the people who are the most effective are those who essentially are both managers and leaders." 

Therefore, going back to Mr. Lee's comments on how to choose a good leader; yes, one must look for passion and charisma; and the ability to persuade others to follow them. However, if that person failed to deliver, would they be still considered a great leader? If Mr. Lee had not created the vision of Singapore that he promised, would he still be remembered today the same way? 

Relating this back to my own country's political situation, Mr. Nasheed, the former President was definitely an inspirational leader; a visionary with a mission. Through leading a dramatic movement called "Wathan Edhey Gotha: Badhalakah Emmen" (They way the nation wants: Everyone for a Change) he deposed Mr. Gayoom, who had been in power for the past 30 years, only to be faced by months of political upheaval and public unrest. This upheaval and unrest, though some were politically motivated, was mainly attributed to dramatic economic reforms which proved unpopular and alleged corruption and unlawful actions. Recognised all over the world as the Island President, he resigned after a police mutiny in February 2013.Therefore, however charismatic or inspirational, when a leader fails to maintain that support through the delivery of the ideals of the mission, they fail. 

On the subject of the traits of leaders, we commonly believe that leaders have to be intellectually capable to lead. Conventional wisdom states that if a leader is educated and worldly, they would make good leaders. This idea is manifested in our norms and is very visible during election cycles, when we vet the candidates according to their educational background, their past experience, job-performance, output and so on. Daniel Goleman on the other hand says, intelligence, toughness, determination and vision, though required, are not sufficient. The mark of a true effective leader is, he says, a high degree of emotional intelligence (EQ) which includes self awareness, self regulation, motivation, empathy and social skill. High EQ leaders are said to be better decisions, engage and influence more effectively, and create a better mood and working environment. 

These values do tie in to Mr. Lee's observations as well; especially the values of motivation, persuasion and the ability to lead change. However, a high degree of EQ also comes from self awareness; awareness about your own moods, drives, emotions and impulses. This requires self reflection, studying your personality type, what motivates you or unhinges you, and how your personality is shaped and how to engage with other people. Without this awareness it is difficult to know others and what drives them. And if you don't know your followers well enough, it is almost impossible to lead them effectively. 

Mr. Lee also hints that leadership is not acquired but obtained through birth. However, the concept of EQ gives raise to the idea that leadership can be learnt. Sure, some people are better than others at being perceptive and attuned to others. Some are optimists and have a presence. However, it is not impossible to learn these things either. Small things such as reflecting on your day and meetings before going to work everyday, will make you more prepared to face the challenges and irritations throughout. Leaving personal problems and grievances at home and not bringing them to work, will make your demeanour more pleasant. Actively listening to co-workers, knowing their personalities, and their interests will enable a leader to motivate them. These are things an aspiring leader can work at. Indeed, the large numbers of books written on the subject and the number of courses taught at universities are a testament to the belief that leadership can be acquired. 

Yes, there are certain things you are born with; such as looks, ability to learn and so on. However, even these things can be enhanced and improved and thus who’s to say, leadership qualities cannot be? If not, bad news to the loads of leadership trainers out there :)